


Number Log

by PatterCake



Category: Infinity Train (Cartoon)
Genre: Arguing, Character Study, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, One Shot, This was written pre episode 5... Don't @ me I'm already crying, post book 2 pre book 3, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:01:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25784074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatterCake/pseuds/PatterCake
Summary: Simon has been keeping a log of every Apex member's number when one day he realises that he's never actually noted down Grace's number and jumps at an excuse to spend time with her.
Relationships: Grace/Simon (Infinity Train), grimon, mall rats - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	Number Log

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank you to Purpledragon6 for beta reading this! Go check out their Simon/Grace oneshots as thanks https://archiveofourown.org/works/25634533/chapters/62227645

_ 113 - Saoirise, 908147 - Jonathan (Jon), 746 - Michael, 579 - Tanesha, 65796 - Milton, 168 - Jane, 1789 - Patience, 6547 - Sandeep, 5531 - Pete, 575 - James, 65472 - Ronja, 941 - Luke, 25 - Joshua, 156 - Kiesha, 7621 - Maleka, 1383 - Chadira, 69 - Charlie, 17 - Faith _

Simon sharpened his pencil while skim reading over the log he was keeping of everyone’s numbers. He flipped the page and cross referenced a few of them - they’d picked Faith up just a few weeks ago and she wasn’t making as much progress as was expected. Then again, his log said she’d started out at just 9. They’d found her just in time. 

He turned the page back and wrote  _ \- Todd.  _

Todd sat on the edge of a maskeshift bed in the pharmacy they’d converted into a hospital for any injured Apex members. His broken foot had been revealed to be just a broken toe which Simon had carefully taped to another so it would heal straight. Simon was normally the one that tended to these sorts of injuries while Grace handled explorations, so he was used to it. Normally Simon joked around with the kids to get them comfortable enough to not fidget when he pulled out splinters or bandaged scrapes, but today he had other things on his mind. 

Simon tried to smile at the boy while glancing at his right hand. Todd had his hand resting on the bed so Simon couldn’t see his number, just a feeble glow emanating from the edges of his fingers. 

“How’re you feeling?” Simon asked.

“I’m okay.”

“That’s good. Now-” Simon lent forwards, “Jane told me your number went up when you kicked that nasty null and broke your toe.”

Todd’s face brightened, “Oh yeah! It went up to 218!” 

“Really?” Simon tried to hide his disappointment. Going up by eight points was hardly a feat, but he couldn’t let Todd see that. “That’s great! You must’ve given that null quite a kick! Can I see?” 

Todd thrust out his hand while grinning but his smile quickly faded when he saw Simon’s expression. 

“Your number…” Simon stated, “has gone down.” 

Todd looked at his hand, which clearly read 212. 

“I-I hadn’t realised! I promise I didn’t do anything to make it do that!” Todd insisted. 

“Are you sure? It couldn’t have just gone back down by itself… and you were doing so well…” Simon said sadly. 

“I’m sorry…”

Simon silently wrote down  _ 212 _ next to Todd’s name. 

“It’s alright Todd- you’re still just a kid. Your number’ll sort itself out and if you keep trying hard then hey, maybe it’ll even be like mine one day.” Simon gloatingly held out his arm and turned it slowly so Todd could drink in the full glowing beauty of the glowing lines. 

“That’d be so cool! What do you get when you have the highest number?”

“You get to be the best.” Simon answered and said softly, “Like Grace is.” 

“Is that it?” Todd looked disappointed and his number whirred as it dropped to 210 again. “Sorry!”

“It’s alright Todd.” Simon said glumly- the boy was clearly a lost cause if he couldn’t keep his number steady for even 5 minutes. He crossed out the two and put a zero. “Just stay off your foot for a while.”

He closed the number log and left the pharmacy with it in his hand. 

The Mall was mostly empty aside from a few kids milling around the loot drop- but since the car Grace went to check out hadn’t had anything worth bringing over they were just raking through old treasures. Grace really hadn’t been happy about that car. The train wasn’t designed for passengers to live in one car and the difficulty finding food without straying so far from the base you couldn’t get back was meant to encourage them to travel - so if they couldn’t get more supplies soon they’d have to send out a team of scavengers. If they got lost that would be devastating but it wasn’t like Simon and Grace could let The Apex starve. The bags of cotton candy Grace had brought back from The Lucky Cat was hardly a good meal. Grace was probably worried. They were losing food and they’d lost a passenger. 

A knot tied itself in his stomach as he remembered how Grace had lashed out at him when they boy took the exit. What did she mean show some respect? The boy with the chrome null and deer had taken the exit- the only people who did that were people too weak to see the truth, yet alone live it like they did. Grace knew that. Didn’t she? 

Of course she did! Grace had been on the train longer than him, her number was bigger than his- bigger than anyone's. She was the best. Grace was so capable and clever, brave and responsible, and Grace was also really funny. And kind. And, if he was being honest, beautiful.

And angry at him. 

As The Apex’s leaders him and Grace had their disagreements. Grace had initially been against the idea of trying to bring over soil from other cars and grow their own food saying cars not designed for produce wouldn’t let plants grow- apparently she’d read it in her book. And he was always against Grace going off to explore cars by herself. But those were understandable arguments, even if he didn't agree with Grace he could understand her. And he was always safe in the knowledge that beneath all the petty arguments him and Grace believed the same thing. So why had she been so mad at him? 

Grace was probably in the pawn shop she’d converted into a storage unit for interesting or valuable items salvaged from train cars. She spent most of her spare time there- reading or working on something. He could go and ask her for an explanation but she didn’t like to be bothered when she was working. And bother her was the last thing he wanted to do if he’d already done something wrong. If only he had an excuse to go talk to her…

Simon sat down on one of the broken escalator’s steps and started idly flicking through the number log. It always brought him a sense of peace and purpose to look at the progress him and the rest of The Apex had made over the years. It was crazy to think he’d started at just 5301. He wondered what Grace’s starting number had been. He flicked through the book but there wasn’t any mention of her name. When he reached his most recent log he realised that no one had ever actually transcribed Grace’s number. 

Or at least not until today. 

Grace shook the red spray can up and down as she prepared to tag the golden mask she’d ripped off a null. 

At first she’d been using it as a disguise but now that The Cat knew it belonged to her there wasn’t any point- she may as well have some fun and decorate it. She taped the stencil over it and started spraying when the bell at what had once been the shop front rang. 

Grace heard the unmistakable clink of Simon’s weird partially metal shoes and grinned. She quickly pulled the freshly painted mask over her head and hid behind the door. 

Simon gently knocked on the door behind the dusty counter and pushed it open when Grace jumped out at him. The old white t-shirt she wore for painting was splattered with red paint and so was her mask so for one second Simon didn’t recognise her and nearly jumped out of his skin. 

“Boo!” she said and laughed at his reaction. Simon grinned at her, happy that she wasn’t angry at him anymore and decided to play along. 

“Oh no a null!” Simon said with mock horror, “What have you done with Grace, you monster?”

“Something terrible. You should forget about this ‘Grace’- you’ll never see her again.”

“No way.” Simon solemnly placed a hand over his heart, “Grace is unforgettable!”

Grace laughed and removed her mask. “So what are you here for anyway?” 

“I was noting down some of the kids numbers after Todd’s went up and I realised that we’ve never actually noted down your number in the log.” 

“Yeah, I guess not.” 

“So…” Simon asked sheepishly, “can I?”

“What ,you wanna write it down in your little book thing?” 

“Uh. Yes.”

She shrugged. “Okay.”

Grace removed her opera glove, revealing the glowing green digits snaking up into her tshirt’s sleeve. That was new. Simon had been sure that her number only reached her elbow, a little higher than his own one. She tugged the sleeve upwards to expose her angular, dark brown shoulder that was now studded with digits. 

“Woah…” was all Simon could say.

“Yeah, pretty cool right? It went up by like, a whole ten thousand when I set the mirror police on that chrome girl. Maybe even more.” Grace said casually while stretching out her arm so Simon could drink in all of it, “It’s okay…” she said smugly, “Admire me…”

“Have you checked if it goes up any higher?” 

“What?” Grace smirked, “do you want me to take my shirt off?”

“But of course...” 

“Aw stop it. And nah. Just the shoulder. I’d like to get it so big it goes around my neck one day though- like a necklace.” Simon watched Grace draw her hand across her delicate bare neck as she talked, “Wouldn’t that be pretty?

“Yeah.” he said distractedly, “Yeah it would.” 

“What about you?” 

“Me? Well… So long as I can get mine above yours and wipe your smirk off I’ll be happy.”

Grace snorted, “In your dreams Simon!”

Simon laughed but it stung a little to know that he was forever behind Grace just because she’d been on the train longer. It was maddening to always be the second-in-command, the back up leader if anything happened to her. He wanted to prove to her that he was just as important and capable as her, just as deserving of admiration. The thought of Grace admiring  _ his _ number suddenly came to him. Wouldn’t it be nice if Grace could look at him the way he looked at her? “I know, I know. Can we start?”

Grace offered her hand to him palm up and he took it. Grace’s hand was warm and soft, and her pale palm was lit emerald green by her number. It had been a long time since they’d touched like this. When they’d first got on the train they’d held hands all the time, the world had changed so suddenly and the train could be so frightening- and they only had each other to hold onto. But they’d stopped doing that for some reason. Maybe because they were older? Things were different now. They had been for a long time but that didn’t mean he had to like it. He ever so slightly squeezed her hand- wondering if she noticed. 

If she did she didn’t give any indication and just gently smiled at him as he copied down her number. 

“So…” Grace began conversationally, “How are the kids doing?”

“Well I dunno… I think the chrome null shook them up a bit. And so did the other thing that happened.” Simon tried to only vaguely mention Jesse’s exit just in case Grace blew off at him again. It had been a while since they’d been alone together, just like they used to be, and he didn’t want to ruin this moment. “I’m trying to remind them of their progress with their numbers just in case they start getting ideas.”

Grace slowly nodded. “Yeah. That null was so real looking it was scary. You know I honestly thought she was a passenger when I first saw her! Isn’t that funny?”

“Yeah I guess so.Todd said so too, but then he saw that she didn’t have a number and  _ theeen _ he... went ahead and broke his toe.”

“How is Todd doing anyway? His foot okay?” 

“Todd was fine when I saw him- oh!” Simon remembered the main reason he’d even gone to check in on Todd and said with the glow of a proud parent, “His number went up!” 

Grace smiled back at him awkwardly. 

“Though it went down a bit after I talked to him.” he admitted, “But I promise I didn’t do anything to make it do that!” Simon insisted. “Or I… didn’t do anything on purpose. I-”

“Simon.” Grace’s voice was unusually sharp. 

“Yes Grace?”

“Simon I’m… I’m a little concerned.” Grace had always thought of herself as a logical person- nulls had no numbers, people did, so therefore nulls weren’t people. She’d have figured it out even without the book. And people were people. And people were what she cared about. After years of raising kids who started with numbers like 4 or 8 how could she not have faith that everyone could join their ranks? And if everyone could join The Apex, and The Apex was important, that meant everyone was important. But after seeing Simon’s disgust at Jesse taking his exit she’d had the horrible, nagging doubt that Simon wasn’t logical. Or not like her, at least.

Now, she loved Simon’s passion more than anything but he did listen to his heart more than his head. He’d always try to talk her out of exploring cars and complain endlessly when she was gone for longer than he expected for one thing. But if Simon couldn’t understand her logic then logically he needed to be corrected. But illogically, there was nothing Grace wanted to do less than hurt his feelings. 

“Now you know that I trust you more than anyone and that you’re not just my second-in-command but my best friend.” She began gently, turning her hand palm down to hold his, “And I care about you because I care about every member of The Apex but well… I guess you especially. And… and that’s why I have to mention that you care too much about the numbers and not enough about the people that have them.” 

“What do you mean? Getting our numbers up is the whole point of the Apex- that’s what you believe too. Right?” Simon said uncertainly.

Grace sighed and let go of his hand. “Simon we both know that’s not what I’m talking about. Simon… I didn’t say that The Apex is wrong, and that numbers don’t matter. What I said is that people matter more. If someone has a tiny number they’re still a huge deal, and sometimes… sometimes people are even a zero and choose to take their exits. But they’re still people Simon! They’re still humans- humans that were probably in a lot of pain and loneliness because of what happened to them. We have to respect all of them.” 

“I know I know." He muttered, "But you really can’t expect me to believe that someone like, what was his name? Jesse? Someone that let a null take advantage of him and then chose to take the exit is just as important as me or you. Yeah right.” Simon scoffed. 

“But Jesse was important." Grace shot back, "It’s not his fault that null took advantage of him- nulls are programmed to trick passengers into getting their numbers down, if anything it’s our fault for not getting to him sooner. Or not getting to him at all. You say Jesse was weak for taking his exit but we were weak for not being able to help him. You can’t pin the blame on some scared kid Simon! It wasn’t his fault that he did what he did. But it was-  _ is _ ours for letting it happen. And right in front of the other Apex members too!" She said in exasperation, "We might have some… difficult questions to answer. And what happens if some of them decide to get their numbers down thinking they’ll go home?”

“Oh so now it’s fine to want people’s numbers up?" Simon almost yelled, "I don’t understand what you’re saying. Either you’re on my side and getting your number up like the conductor wants is good, or you’re with the nulls and that dumb robot and want everyone kicked off our rightful train!” 

Grace hadn't seen Simon get so riled up in a while. She looked at him sadly. Why couldn't he understand her? Simon had always understood her and been so kind. It was almost scary to see him so angry. Couldn't he see he was scaring her? 

Why couldn't he think logically? 

“Simon… you really don’t get the nuance do you. Simple Simon." She teased but he didn't smile like he normally did, "Okay let me.. Let me think of a way to explain-”

Simon looked away in embarrassment. Now she was talking down to him. He shouldn't have lost his temper like that. “I’m not one of the kids Grace. You can just tell me things straight.” 

Grace paused and then said slowly, “Okay then. Let’s say that my number is smaller than yours. It goes down, or it was always like that. What does that mean?”

Simon looked at her in confusion. “Well it… it means that… it means that you… made a mistake?”

“Let’s even say that I have a medium sized number. Only 5 no… 4 digits." Grace calmly continued, "Maybe even 3. Does that change how you view me? How you talk to me and act towards me?”

“No of course not! Grace we’ve known each other for years I’ve seen how capable and talented and..” he stopped himself saying beautiful just in time, “And... smart and strong you are. It wouldn’t change that.” 

Grace tried to remain serious but she couldn't help but smile at his flattery. “So… does that mean… that if my number was at 13 you’d still listen to me? And at 12? 11? 10?” 

“Yeah yeah. Even at 10 you’d still be Grace, unfortunately for me…" 

Grace decided to graciously (ha) not respond to that. “How about at 4?”

“4? Yikes… I’d be lucky to catch you just in time.” 

“So you understand that it’s not the numbers you should be looking at, but the people?” Grace asked. 

“I suppose I understand. Sort of.” 

“And what would you do if…” Grace asked carefully, “if my number reached zero and I got my exit?”

Simon didn't say anything. Grace worried he was going to have another outburst. He looked away from her, silent, and when he looked back he looked so sad Grace was caught off guard. 

“If we’re being honest… I-I think I’d cry." Simon said in a sad, serious voice she'd never heard him use before. 

"You leaving me and going away like that is just… it’s awful." Simon tried not to show it but whenever Grace left to go explore the train without him, all he could think about was what would happen if she got hurt. Or got found by One One and taken away- away from him. The thought of Grace leaving to never come back made his heart ache. "If you left I’d probably stop caring about The Apex and try get my number down just so I could follow you.” he admitted. 

Grace was so shocked she couldn't say anything for a few moments. 

“Simon… That’s… Coming from you that’s a lot. I- thank you." Grace reached out and touched his hand again with her numberless left hand. The numbers did affect the skin, specifically how it felt temperature wise, making everything slightly duller. So when she touched him with her normal hand she felt the unfiltered warmth coming off him for the first time, "Me too.”

“Yeah…” Simon said bashfully.

“And you wouldn’t think I was…" Grace hesitated as she remembered what Simon had said about Jesse, "weaker than you if I did make that choice? Worse?”

"I mean I-I wouldn’t be able to understand it, and I’d be so mad at you and so…so... upset and- and lonely. And I’d hate myself for letting that happen to you.” Grace squeezed his hand sympathetically and he slowly squeezed back, “But I wouldn’t ever think that there was something wrong with you." 

"Glad to hear I'm flawless!" Grace said smugly. 

Simon rolled his eyes and grinned, happy that things were back to normal between them. 

“And don’t worry about Todd okay?" Grace said cheerfully, "He kicked that chrome null on impulse and if you get your number up by doing things spur of the moment it goes down really quickly. Because you haven’t really changed who you are at the core, and your number reflects that. Look- my number’s gone down too.” 

Grace held out her arm so Simon could see how much her number had shrunk over the course of their conversation. Her shoulder was bare again, and the green numbers stopped in the middle of her upper arm. She'd lost a few hundred at least. 

As she looked at her arm Grace suddenly had an image of her number completely vanishing and a thought occurred to her. 

“Simon.”

“Graaaace…” he answered playfully. 

“What would you do… if I didn’t have a number?” 

“You mean if you were what, a null?” 

“Yeah. What would you do in that situation? I’m curious...”

“Well uh…" Simon frowned, "I guess I’d have to dislike you, not because of anything personal- but because like… you’d be a null and that’s how we have to treat them. So I guess I’d try to leave you alone. I don’t like it when we have to wheel a null that looks or acts like a person. I know they’re not really real but it’s just- I know that you’re much braver than me and probably never hesitate but it’s just- I just can’t get it out of my head that I’m hurting a kid." 

“I’m not braver than you Simon,” Grace said softly, “You’re just as brave as me. I know what you mean I.. I get that too. Doubts and things like that. Don’t get hung up on it.”

Simon got flustered and looked away. “Well jeez. Thanks Grace. I didn’t think you ever had moments of like, I dunno, weakness and stuff like that.”

“I’m only human, Simes. Not like the nulls.”

"I know I know- once they get crushed and the orb comes out and you realise that it was never alive in the first place. It was just pretending to be human, trying to get you to trust it so it could trick you. Makes me absolutely sick. Is that what they think of us humans? Some kind of costume they can wear? Absolutely disgusting.” 

Simon remembered the reason they were even talking about this and considered what he’d do if he met a Grace that didn’t have a number. 

“But I guess if… if one of them acted like you it’d be different and… and if I had to wheel you then I don’t think I’d be able to do it.” 

“I wouldn’t be able to wheel you either.” 

“Such flattery!” 

“Eh. Don’t get used to it, socks and sandals boy.” 

Simon shook his head. “I make one wardrobe error and you never let me forget it.” 

Grace gestured at Simon’s entire outfit and raised an eyebrow,  _ “One?” _

"Okay maybe I make several wardrobe errors." Simon said stiffly, "but that's rich coming from you, miss whatever those weird tags on your sleeves are." 

"I guess we're both pretty awful-" Grace admitted.

"We deserve each other."

"-But you're still worse." 

Simon stuck his tongue out at her while Grace reached for her discarded gloves. It wasn’t until she let go of him that she realised they’d been holding hands the whole time- like they used to. 

She pulled her gloves back on. Simon watched as the lilac satin covered up her long arms inch by inch until only a few stray digits were uncovered. It was weirdly therapeutic to watch her slide her long fingers in and tug the fabric up. She had such nice arms.

“You know Grace… I always wondered why you wore your gloves when if any of us deserve to show our numbers off it’s you. But I think I can understand now. You don’t want to show it so people won’t treat you weird and like you’re better than them, or something, right?.” 

“Yeah pretty much. Plus it can be harder to get past certain nulls if they see how big I’ve grown it- but don’t get me wrong I love showing off my number. I mean look at it- Isn’t it beautiful? Grace pulled the glove back down and raised her arm so that the glow shone over her face, reflected in her dark brown eyes. 

“Yes,” said Simon, but he wasn’t looking at her number. 

Grace turned away from him and pulled out a box from one of the old shop’s filling cabinets. Simon watched as she started digging through the things she’d salvaged from the cars they raided. Clearly she wanted to get back to her work. Simon closed the number log and begrudgingly got up to leave, sad that whatever intimacy they’d been sharing was already over. 

“Where are you going, socks and sandals?”

“Huh?” Simon said, lingering in the door, “Don’t you want some space to focus?”

“No it’s okay. Anyway, I got something for you. I meant to give it to you right after I came back from The Lucky Cat but y’know, stuff happened.”

“You got me a present?!” Simon asked excitedly and Grace grinned. Simon could be such a kid. 

“Here,” Grace handed Simon something small wrapped in a candy wrapper. He had to appreciate the thought, even if it meant whatever his gift was it was probably covered in residue candy. “I had to smash a crane game to get it for you so you’d better like it.” He took the wrapper and there was a postman figurine.

“Oh my god he’s perfect! Wow, look at the paint job-” Simon closely inspected his new treasure, “They did the greying bits in his hair and everything- they even did his buttons a different colour! Now that’s what I call attention to detail! I love him, I- thank you Grace.”

“You’re welcome, Simon.” Grace tapped her fingers on the box she’d pulled out. It had been a while since her and Simon had just spent time together just the two of them. Which was to be expected from looking after a horde of squabbling children, and she loved looking after The Apex, but that didn’t mean she didn’t sometimes miss the days when it was just the two of them against the world, exploring the train all by themselves as if no one else existed. Simon probably had things to do and he clearly wanted to get going. If only she had an excuse to talk to him…

“Hey um, if you want I can… show you some other stuff you might like?”

“Really? Sure!” Grace pulled out another filling drawer and started laying out various trinkets, describing what null she had to trick or punch to get each one while Simon watched her. 

It was true what Grace said about number’s gained from impulsive or quick decisions- you lost them almost as quickly as you gained them. Grace’s number had unwound itself from her shoulder and was almost level with her elbow again. In order to really get it up you had to build up yourself, put in years of dedication and learning from mistakes, trying your hardest until your true essence shone out of your hand in a beam of pure green. It took years to make a good number, kind of like, Simon supposed, it took years to make a good friendship. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> We'll see how well this ages when Book 3 comes out...
> 
> Edit now that it's finished airing: 🙃


End file.
